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Living in Southern California, it's hard not to go “native”. And native for the last few years means “hipster”. My husband is from North Carolina and moved here ten years ago. He's hung on to his culture for a long time but the call of the street taco and the Fedora is strong here in So Cal. I think he might have crossed over to the hipster side. So what do you do when you're husband goes native and turns hipster? How do you even know if he's “gone hipster”? There is a solution. But first, watch for these 5 signs to identify if you have a hipster husband:
He has a new appreciation for Hat Culture
Does your husband wear a new style of hat now? I recently read an article about the top 5 hipster hats. OMG my husband has like 3 out of the 5. THREE!!
These hats have no real function other than looking like they are just about to fall off or blow away. There is no why.
Constantly on the hunt for Street Tacos, Barbecue, and “Artisanal” Foods
Dude. Why is your water in a bottle you filled with water so you can pour it into your water cup? Now I gotta wash like 4 items instead of ONE water cup. This is how to spot a hipster restaurant too – glass bottles of tap water on every table. If you put tap water in a bottle, it's now “artisanal”. Which means “artsy”. It doesn't mean “natural”, like I thought.
To go with that water is equally laborious and complicated foods that used to be simple and easy. Tacos, barbecue, and other roasted foods all must be topped with sauces. Tomatillo hot sauce made in a 2,000 year old vat in the mountains of Sinaloa, barbecue sauce created during a SuperNova at the bottom of the ocean by ballerinas standing on one foot while they cooked … it's all incredibly special, super-luxe, and exclusive. What is NOT exclusive are the stains. Oh yeah, I see that cactus hot sauce all over the front of his shirt and I KNOW. I KNOW that he ate at the taco truck today with all the other hipsters at his office!
Then there's the barbecue. It's not like he didn't barbecue and grill before this. But now, now it is this whole other level with grilled Cornish games hens and apricot wood smoked ribs and butterflied artichoke roasted over rosemary and eucalyptus. It's all so complicated and takes an entire week to cook. You know how many soot and charcoal-covered shirts and aprons and pants I have had run through the laundry room?! If your hubby is a hipster, you know exactly what I am talking about.
All of a sudden he's doing Facial Hair Care
When your husband spends more time grooming 1.5 square inches of hair on his face than you do on your entire head, you might have a hipster. Here are some signs to look for:
- hipsters have special combs just for their beard so they can apply beard oils, conditioners, masks, and other $100 miracle oils from tiny quarter-sized salve tins
- your husband starts going to stores that only sell shaving gear. When he doesn't shave. Because they also sell if-you-don't-shave-aka-have-a-beard gear. Like fancy beard elixirs in a tiny penny-sized $98 tin
- you start seeing strange stains that smell like bergamot and patachouli all over your bath towels. That's beard oil/salve/juice/liquid/conditioner/whatever that he wiped off on the towel after combing it through his lovely facial locks. Which are now shinier than your hair.
If only the hipster handbook had a section on stains…
He either dresses like your grandpa or a little kid
I saw this viral video last week about hispters' clothes. one of the guys in the video said he felt like a “little kid” wearing hipster clothes. When your kid thinks that striped T-shirt your husband just bought is for him and not for his dad, your husband might be a hipster.
When he starts wearing shirts that your grandfather wore, he might be a hipster. Seriously – my grandpa vs. my husband:
That's the look.
He's a hipster. What now?
Now that you know your husband has gone native and become a hipster, there's a lot to deal with. Along with the newly reinvigorated passion for barbecue, the new wardrobe, and the insatiable hunger for artisanal hand-churned honey ice cream, come all the evidence of the hipster lifestyle: spills, splatters, stains, and beard oil smears. Like this charcoal smudge on my husband's shirt from grilling:
Luckily, solving this complication from the hipster lifestyle is easy: Turn to Shout® Trigger Triple-Acting Stain Remover.
Shout® Trigger Triple-Acting Stain Remover is packed with stain-fighting ingredients and enzymes to quickly penetrate, break up and remove tough stains, even stains from the latest fads in food, fashion, and lifestyle. No matter if he's eating street tacos and getting salsa on his shirt, getting beard oil or mustache wax on your favorite tip towel, drinking a fancy coffee and dripping the latte foam on his pants, getting grass stains on his shorts from playing Frisbee golf, and getting charcoal on his clothes from making barbecue, Shout® Trigger Triple-Acting Stain Remover clings and penetrates to lift away stains. His new hipster wardrobe will stay true to color since Shout® Trigger Triple-Acting Stain Remover is safe for all colorfast washables and works in all water temperatures. Here's how Shout® Trigger Triple-Acting Stain Remover can deal with hipster stains:
Pick up Shout® Trigger Triple-Acting Stain Remover at your local Walmart, conveniently in the laundry detergent aisle. You can pick up a few new striped hipster style pocket tees on the way out of the store too!
Always be sure to read the label to see how to properly use on your favorite fabrics no matter your style and fashion choices. Learn more about Shout® Trigger Triple-Acting Stain Remover here:
Has your husband “gone native” or “hipster”? How did you survive? Tell me all about it in the comments!
*no husbands or hipsters were harmed in the making of this blog post